Do you believe in humor as a form of therapeutic intervention? Why?

Laughter is good medicine. The Bible also advocates joy and a merry heart as being good for the soul. Yes, humor has a potentially valuable place in therapy. The impact of humor can be extensive, though often understated in the counseling profession. Humor can be seen as an effective communication tool for both counselors and clients. On the part of the counselor, humor can build and enhance the therapeutic relationship. There are several ways that humor can help during counseling sessions:

• Build rapport, explore emotions, and reduce stressful situations.
• Offer clients a less painful perspective of an experience and encourage communication on sensitive matters.
• Convey the message that the counselor is also human and help establish a better counseling relationship.
• Therapeutic use of humor can result in a client’s putting problems into perspective.
• To facilitate the acting out of feelings or impulses in a safe, non-threatening way.
• As a coping device to allow clients to redirect their energy with new commitments for the future and to move forward and make progress in their lives.

What type of humor is suitable for enhancing relationships? How about for healing broken relationships?

In general, laughter and humor improve the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health of individuals – essential ingredients for a healthy relationship, be it a marriage, courtship, friendship, etc. Joy stimulates the immune system, kills the stress and tension and significantly increases the release of pain killing chemicals in the blood. The benefits include a decrease in blood pressure and systemic inflammation. This creates a feel good state of being which enhances relational well-being.

The ability to see humor in a tense atmosphere brings spouses closer together. Partners who have the ability to laugh at their situation would actually feel stronger after the argument, enhancing their relationship. Recalling funny, happy moments that were shared can also bring back to mind warm, loving emotions felt in the past, and this can affirm their relationship. Any relationship would benefit from a good injection of humor from time to time.

Are there any challenges or risks involved if you recommend your clients to use humor as a tool to improve relationships?

There are both payoffs and risks in the use of humor in counseling. In any counseling session, the proper interpretation, climate of the session, appropriate timing, sensitivities, and personality of the client must be considered for successful use of humor. Humor is a useful tool but like all tools, it has to be used appropriately, to support and not to demean. The counselor needs to distinguish between humor that distracts and humor that enhances the situation. Humor which belittles, embarrasses or intimidates the client is to be avoided at all costs. Clients may sometimes use humor as a defense to avoid feeling the pain of difficult matters or as a distraction. This needs to be worked through by the counselor who will assess if it is a healthy or unhealthy defense.

Humor brings people together. It facilitates communication and builds relationships. We enjoy and like people who are humorous. It is a good tool to neutralize conflict in relationships and lighten up tense situations as humor can provide people with a different perspective on the many challenges of their complicated lives. If we can make light out of the situation, it is no longer a threat to us. We have already discounted its effect. We can feel a sense of self-protection and control in our environment. Bill Cosby is fond of saying, “If you can laugh at it, you can survive it.”

Humor has long been considered one of the most effective tools to judge the quality of any relationship. If there is laughter present, we can assume that the relationship is a healthy one. When the laughter ceases, we can be quite certain that the relationship is on the downslide. This laughter barometer can be applied to any relationship at home, at work, and at play.

Have you had any experience with humor/laughter when counseling? If so, can you relate one or two incidents (including the outcome)?

We often associate tears and crying with counseling, but humor and laughter can be just as powerful a tool for relationship recovery. I (Diana) had a couple who came for counseling and as they talked about each other’s idiosyncrasies, they started to laugh. Not at each other but rather, how funny that situation was on hindsight. The fond and happy memories broke the barriers of resentment and anger.

Diana Chandra, Senior Counselor, EMCC and Edward Zaccheus, Trainer/Counselor, EMCC both contributed to this article.