The four dimensions that crisscross every woman today are the women’s liberation watershed, the patriarchal nature of society, practical realities of the gender, and personal history.

Women’s Liberation

Without being a participant in its ideas or political actions, every woman has been impacted by this movement to seek equality with men. At the heart of the movement is a cry for justice – a laudable one. The only problem is that these women continue to use men as the referent, and in doing so perpetuate the subjugation they wanted to free their sisters from. Today, women in most democratic nations can find employment outside the home and participate in the political life through voting at the very least. Together with other social trends such as the freedom movement of the sixties and the sexual revolution, women seek to have equal power as men from boardroom to bedroom.

Patriarchal World

At the same time, we continue to live in a largely patriarchal world, especially here in Asia. Systems, authority structures, and even religious and philosophical ideals continue to be male in representation. Singapore recently saw a flurry of debate about the employment and fair treatment of pregnant female employees – and Singapore is amongst the most developed nations this side of the globe where equal opportunities are concerned.

Practical Realities

Women are also shaped by practical realities. Our bodies are weaker than the average man and we are subject to a monthly cycle that steers us between lunar and lunatic; with its attendant discomforts, pain, and hormonal upsets. Then there is pregnancy, nursing, and the higher incidence for osteoporosis and depression.

Personal History

The final dimension is each woman’s personal experiences with gender identity, expression, and relations. Most Asian women do not find themselves celebrated, affirmed or prized. Indeed, until recently, many women I know suffer from preferential treatment and were not given the same opportunities or valued the same way as their brothers. This wounding in many women’s lives is the singular most powerful force of the four dimensions. Our earliest imprints of our worth, significance, and identity are the lenses through which we filter and interpret everything else we experience. It is not uncommon for a young girl who feels that her parents prefer her brothers to her to embark on the path of outstanding achievement in order to win their approval and attention. This trait then works in concert with the other forces and the personal shape, personality, and purpose of the woman emerges over time.

Little girls today are growing up to believe and behave in a wide range of ways. This can be very disconcerting. Perhaps this explains why the highest grossing dramas in Singapore tend to be historical narratives such as Little Nonya – the world where girls are socialized relentlessly into preset molds is both fascinating and somewhat comforting for us. It is a world that beckons us with strong cultural elements and one where color, stroke, and placement are all clear; so different from what have been well taught – to assert ourselves and reject such an approach to the formation of our identities.

Yet at the societal level or at any group level, some “rules” are needed. Norms are necessary or anarchy will set in. In light of the situation we have today, what are some norms both women and men can hold on to? Here I find the biblical ideas for gender identity, expression, and relation most instructive. The Bible, while written in a patriarchal context, presents some counter-cultural, if not shocking pictures. With my limited understanding, I see this need to break away from cultural structures in gender happening in most art and religious writing. But the one I am most familiar with and find most amazing is the Bible.

In the beginning

The Bible begins before history with the creation of humankind. In the account, we are told God is personally exercising His creative powers and does so with intention, care, and delight. The account moves sequentially and culminates in the creation of man and woman. There is a conversation within God that goes: “Let us make man* in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground”(Gen 1:26).

This account signals three realities for us:
1. We are creaturely beings, made and therefore in need of dependence on the Creator.
2. We are able beings, with gifts and powers to impact the earth.
3. We are relational beings, with a need for deep connections and meaningful ties.
The story continues and we are confronted with a tragic turn of events: the man and woman turn their backs on God when an idea is proffered to them: “step beyond God’s confines and find freedom you have never known!” The pair fell for the line and the relational fracture between them and God, each other, and the rest of creation is the permanent mark of our futility to seek meaning, immortality, and success.

Within that scene, God speaks an enigmatic word to the tempter: “I will put enmity between you and the woman, between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel” (Gen 3:15).

Within this word is the seed of a reality so painful and also a grace so amazing. Women would find enmity against her feminine soul – it will be hard to be a woman – and yet from one woman will come One who will defeat this same enemy.

On the way

So this is what women continually and will ever face: a war against her full formation and fulfillment, except when she experiences the victory of this promised Deliverer.

Christian women do not necessarily live in the daily experience of victory, clarity, and power. Many of us are still confused and worried, weary and whitewashed. The victory offered must be received and worked out in the context of the four forces we live with. The victory must become defining and decisive, as an ongoing experience.

Some applications

When I think of fellow women in places where the discussion of their value is not even permitted, I realize what a tremendous privilege and responsibility I have. The resources available to me to understand, attempt, and experience need to be properly used; not for self gratification, but to iron out the many uneven places within my soul and to consider how to help other women.

We need to ask some deeper questions and settle the aches, longings, and troubles that stir within our bosoms. As we do this, our hearts begin to enlarge for women we know, love, and those who may seem so foreign and different from us. When we strip away the externals, we find that all women have a common cry for love.

We need to find this love. We have tried men, education, achievement, admiration, abandonment. Perhaps it is time to get back to the start position. Let us relook at the beginning. The story of creation and the words of God speak truth to us. Do we dare to risk this truth – that we need God, that we are in pain, that we can find victory? Either way there is a gamble going on. Study the promises held out carefully before you spend your life and soul on it.

There is no single definition for the woman except these broad contours that you and I are made in God’s image so we are valuable and valued, creative and able. We were made to attend to creation so we are gifted and capable. We can relate deeply with God and others so we are beings hungry for meaning and connection. We are also being assaulted and can only find release in Jesus the Deliverer, Healer, and Redeemer.

These broad contours need to be sorted out. Then we find the peace and strength to live out our unique and particular meaning and purpose, making a difference in our world.

* the term used is translated “man” but means “a being of earth.”

Rev Jenni Ho-Huan currently partners her husband Dr Philip Huan in their ministry to the wider body of Christ ( www.churchlife-resources.org). Together with their wonderful children, they worship at RiverLife Church where Philip is a pastor.

The New International Version of the Bible has been referenced.

The role of women in today’s society is of vital importance. The hands and feet ministry into our communities is carried out with a great sense of mission and assignment; we have an active part to play in expressing the love of God to people everywhere that they may come into a vibrant and eternal relationship with their heavenly Father. Our ability to feel, touch, nurture, and notice the needs within our communities – whether it be feeding the hungry, caring for the sick or standing in faith with someone who needs a friend – is just a tiny expression of the part a woman plays in our cities and regions. The God given ability to multi task gives us opportunities to put our hands to many ventures at one time.

The Great Commission is forever upon us as we carry the revelation of the plan that God has for every man, woman, and child. We were all made in the image and likeness of God, seeded within us all is the intention and dream that God Himself has for us. The sole purpose of us ministering into schools with religious education, our presence in universities, building relationships with neighbors, and access into prisons is so that humans might discover that there is indeed a God in heaven who loves them and He has a plan for life that is worth living.

We serve a generational God. I believe that women particularly carry a deep conviction and understanding of the power of this generational God and the importance of what we believe, what we stand for, and the mission in our lives that needs to be imparted to the next generation so that nothing is lost with time but is built upon from one generation to the next. With every new generation, the passion for the reality of God should deepen and grow and never decline or diminish. What a privilege and opportunity that is upon us to influence people of all ages that the impact of the Gospel be lived with eternal significance.

The faith of a woman and the way she carries herself in her home will have the greatest impact upon her children. I particularly gravitate to Proverbs 31:27 that beautifully expresses how a woman “watches over the affairs of her household.” To me this is far more than just the manual and practical needs of her family that she takes care of. I see this as a woman who watches diligently over the direction her children are taking. She believes so intensely in the destiny of God upon each of those in her household that she watches, invests, trains, and prays over them so that they discover the ordained path that God has ordered for each and every household member.

I believe that because of the eternal responsibility that is upon us, we waste no opportunity to sow, equip or disciple another so that destinies might be claimed. I love the capacity upon women to partner well with both the spiritual and the natural that make up our daily lives.

The Gospel of John chapter 2 gives us this outstanding record of far more than water being changed to wine. The message is deep, the message is one of hope that we too can see the watery places of our lives turned into wine.

My husband came from a non Christian background; attendance at church was only for funerals and weddings. I however did grow up with the familiarity of attending a traditional style church which helped form some early beliefs and convictions. I would love to testify that I transitioned well through the teenage years without falling by the wayside but unfortunately that was not the case. An awareness of eternity and the grounding I had received seemed a long way off as it was overshadowed by other things that seemed more attractive at that time. In our lives it was two people who were instrumental in seeing the pattern and habits of a destructive lifestyle change. They saw how lost we were, and they faithfully and diligently began to pray for us, knocking on heaven’s doors for their friends. Two people who believed in us enough to call on God to come into an awareness of Him, a God who had a future and a hope that belonged to us, a God in heaven who so deeply loved and believed in us more than we believed in ourselves.

The host at that wedding was pivotal; he noticed that the water had changed into wine. He had no explanation or understanding how such a thing could have transpired. All he knew was that at one moment there was nothing to offer the guests other than water and now there was the finest quality wine for those who were there.

Like the host at that wedding, we too experienced a miracle one Saturday afternoon in our home as we said those life altering words and asked Jesus to come into our lives. We didn’t know what had happened but something had changed. Within hours of praying we were sitting in church. Within three weeks of our decision, the addiction of generational alcohol was broken off in my husband’s life. Within a month, we were baptised in water and within three months, we would encounter the Holy Spirit in indescribable ways. Something had changed, the watery places of our lives had become new. The mess of the past had now become a message that we take everywhere we go. The changing of lives is still His speciality, what seems to be out of reach today is tomorrow’s possibility.

The miracle at the wedding that day was our glimpse into the possibilities of a greater future for those who are willing to taste and see that the Lord is good and ready to show Himself to you in ways that are nothing short of miraculous. Our lives now are blessed as we see the hungry fed and orphans who are finding hope as they are experiencing the benefits of family. Lives continue to be transformed and miracles continue in everyday lives. His message is timeless; His word is unfailing as water continues to be turned into wine.

Today I am so blessed to be a woman who continues to speak into a future that is worth more than I can find words for. My hope is that you too will not miss your day of opportunity, it is simply too good to miss. I carry a revelation of the power of family, the church that is God’s representation upon the earth to demonstrate His purpose and love to anyone who will receive it. Our faith and spirituality need to be seen inside the house and outside the house, in private as well as public. Who we are and whom we represent is a message we take with us wherever we go.

I pray, worship, and surrender my life not because I have to but because I am so utterly convinced that what He has so graciously done for us, He is ready, willing, and more than able to do for others.

Anne, along with her husband, Byron, are the Senior Pastors of Highway Christian Church, Gold Coast, Australia and have been for the past 15 years. Anne has a heart to see families united and serving together, to see the lost saved and the broken made whole. The last two years have been a journey of trust, surrender, and the unknown as her husband was diagnosed, treated, and healed of stage four cancer. Today Anne continues to serve the Lord as she travels the nation as the Director of Queensland Christian Women. Anne is passionate about seeing women empowered by the Word and through prayer.

The New International Version of the Bible has been referenced.

These writers advocate what is sometimes called the “hierarchicalist” view of the relationship between man and woman. This view maintains that although God has created men and women equal, He has designed the woman to be subordinated to the man. Proponents of this view maintain that the subordination of the woman to the man points to the complementary role she is given by God. This view of the male-female relationship may also be described as the traditional view, since it is the view that Roman Catholic, Orthodox, and many Protestant churches espouse. In what follows, I will argue that there is strong evidence to suggest that the Bible teaches that men and women are created equal for reciprocal and mutual relationship with each other. One gender is therefore not subordinated to the other. Rather men and women are to mutually support each other in all dimensions of life.

Man and Woman in Creation

We begin by examining the account of the creation of the first humans in Genesis. There, we are told that human beings – male and female – are created in the image and likeness of God (Gen 1:27). That both the man and the woman are bearers of the divine image suggests that they both have been bestowed with the same dignity and value. It is important to note that the image of God is also a relational concept. This means that the first human pair images the God who created them by enjoying community with each other. According to this understanding, the woman was not created by God merely to complement the man. Rather she was created to “complete” the divine image by delivering the man from his isolation. This primal community of the man and the woman reflects the triune God who created them, who is Being-in-Communion.

Although the proponents of the traditional view would agree with this, they argue that the fact that the woman was created from the man indicates that she is subordinated to him. This argument is, of course, fallacious: the context of the narrative has to do not with the hierarchical order of creation but the alleviation of the man’s solitude and loneliness. In its depiction of the woman as created from the man, the narrative stresses that only the woman is a fit companion for the man. This is beautifully brought out in Genesis’ portrayal of marriage as the joining of the man and the woman in such a way that they become “one flesh” (Gen 2:24). Marriage is the bond between the man and the only creature that is like him (Gen 2:23). It is also this profound similarity between male and female that allows the woman to be the man’s “helper.”

To describe the woman as the man’s “helper,” however, does not mean that she is subordinated to him. Hierarchicalists have used this to substantiate their position. For instance, based on this description John Piper has categorically declared that “God teaches us that the woman is a man’s ‘helper’ in the sense of a loyal and suitable assistant in the life of the garden.” But the term “helper” (Hebrew: ezer) does not necessarily refer to a subordinate. There are seventeen references to God as our helper in the Old Testament. Furthermore, the specific term that Genesis uses for the woman (‘ézrer kenegdô : fit helper) suggests equality, not subordination. As Semitic specialist David Freedman explains: “When God creates Eve from Adam’s rib, his intent is that she will be – unlike the animals – ‘a power (or strength) equal to him’.”

Paul’s Magna Carter

In Galatians 3, Paul reinforces the conclusions we have drawn from the creation narrative in Genesis concerning the equal status of the man and the woman. In what is sometimes described as his “Magna Carta of Humanity,” Paul writes: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal 3:28). In Christ, believers enjoy the same benefits from God, regardless of race, class or gender. These distinctions, to be sure, are not obliterated in Christ. Rather, they no longer serve as the basis for social or functional discrimination.

Hierarchicalists also recognise the implications of Paul’s declaration of equality in Christ. But they argue that this declaration has to do only with the positions of redeemed persons in Christ, not their relationships and functions. They argue that although the woman is equal in status with the man, she is relationally and functionally subordinate to him. But positional equality cannot be severed from equality in relationships and functions. The former must surely imply the latter. Christ has brought about not just a change in status, but also a change in relationships. And if this is true for the relationship between the Gentile and the Jew, and the slave and the citizen, surely it must also be true for the relationship between the woman and the man.

Reflecting on the implications of this especially in relation to Christian ministry, F. F. Bruce wrote:

No more restriction is implied in Paul’s equalizing of the status of male and female in Christ than in his equalizing of the status of Jew and Gentile, or of slave and free person. If in ordinary life existence in Christ is manifested openly in church fellowship, then, if a Gentile may exercise spiritual leadership in church as freely as a Jew, or a slave as freely as a citizen, why not a woman as freely as a man?

Women in the Church

There is strong evidence that women were involved in the various ministries of the church in the earliest period of its history. Christian art of the first and second centuries, for example, depicts women baptizing, administering the Lord’s Supper, teaching and caring for the congregation. But the most important evidence of the egalitarian view of the early Church with regard to the participation of women in the ministry is found in the pages of Acts. Luke mentioned the involvement of women in the early expansion of the church in cities such as Jerusalem (Acts 5:14), Samaria (Acts 8:12), Philippi (Acts 16:13-15), Thessalonica (Acts 17:4), Corinth (Acts 18:2) and many others. For example, Lydia (Acts 16:40) played a significant role in assisting Paul in the Philippian church.

Significantly, women prophesied and taught in the early church. Acts 21:8-9 describes the four unmarried daughters of Philip who prophesied, suggesting that these women exercised some form of significant leadership at the church in Caesarea. Acts 18 also clearly indicates that Priscilla (together with her husband) was a teacher of the Scriptures who helped to further enlighten the already erudite Apollos about “the way of God” (Acts 18:26). Women were not excluded even from the office of the apostle. In Romans 16:7, Paul writes: “Greet Andronicus and Junias… They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was.” The question whether Junias is a man or a woman is a much disputed one among contemporary scholars. But the Fathers of the early church, including Origen and John Chrysostom, maintained that Junias was a woman.

The Question of Submission

The creation narrative, Paul’s Magna Carter for Humanity, and the practice of the early Church provide the framework for understanding male-female relationships. It is within this framework that one should interpret the passages that prohibit women from performing certain ministries. Thus, scholars have argued that even Paul’s declarative statement in 1 Timothy 2:12 (“I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man”) must be understood contextually and must not be taken as a timeless imperative. In addition, linguistic studies have shown that here we have a temporary directive, not a permanent rule.

It is also within this framework that we should understand the Pauline concept of submission. Paul maintains that the overarching principle that should govern the human community (especially the Christian community) is mutual submission: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph 5:21). Mutual submission demolishes the social hierarchies and discriminations brought about by the Fall by according equal dignity and worth to every human being regardless of ethnic heritage, social status, and gender. In the context of marriage, such mutuality is seen in the relationship of reciprocity where the wife willingly submits to her loving and devoted husband.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I must stress that in rejecting sexual hierarchy, I am not rejecting all hierarchy as such. Society is so ordered that an egalitarianism that knows no supra- and subordinate levels, no authority and obedience is in the end naïve and untenable. In the concrete structures of society, some women may be subordinated to men, as the occasion requires. But the egalitarianism that is portrayed in Scripture rejects the view that all women must be subject to all men because they are women. It is in this respect that the biblical vision of the male-female relationship is truly counter-cultural. It points to the kind of human community that God had intended in creation, and the eschatological reality that the redemptive and restorative work of Christ has made possible.

References:
Bruce, F.F. The Epistle to the Galatians. Exeter: The Paternoster Press, 1982.

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine and Dean of the School of Postgraduate Studies at Trinity Theological College.

The New International Version of the Bible has been referenced.

Against this backdrop also lies the state of marriages today. Holy matrimony has faced a lot of changes, just as cultural and moral values have. The most crucial difference has been in the essence of the institution. Marriage used to refer to the wedding of a man and a woman but now same-sex marriages and transgender unions are becoming common media features.

How men and women view marriage is also steadily and surely changing. Before and during the 1970s, men were often the sole breadwinners in their families and it was common for a man to marry a woman who would spend the rest of her marriage looking after the home and children.

But in the US, UK, and Singapore, more and more women have careers and jobs outside the home – and they often earn more than their husbands. A study by the Pew Research Center in the US, the results of which were released in January this year, states that in 1970, the “typical man did not gain another breadwinner in his household when he married”¹ but married men today now earn less than their wives in many instances.

The study reported that “the superior gains of married men have enabled them to overtake and surpass unmarried men in their median household income.”² The report’s authors stated that a larger share of today’s men, compared with their 1970 counterparts, are married to women with higher education and salaries, and a larger share of women are married to men with less education and income. They said: “In the past, when relatively few wives worked, marriage enhanced the economic status of women more than that of men. In recent decades, however, the economic gains associated with marriage have been greater for men…”³

Ms Stephanie Coontz, research director for the US Council on Contemporary Families, also claimed in a recent report that men are discovering that they need marriage more than women “from the standpoint of physical and mental well-being.”⁴ She attributed men’s willingness to marry “up” as evidence of the fact that marriage was “becoming increasingly important to their economic well-being as well.”⁵ Clinical psychologist Helen Evans, who is in private practice in Chicago, said in The American Thinker that “[marriage is] helpful for men in terms of their health and their overall social well-being. Men who are married live longer.”

In the 1970s and earlier, men in the West and Singapore earned comfortable salaries from manufacturing jobs that did not require higher educational qualifications. The disruption of the education of many men after the Second World War and the other wars and conflicts in Asia forced many countries to rely on a less well-educated workforce as they sought to rebuild after years of destruction.

But as feminism and the baby boom years came and went, more and more women were born and began joining the workforce. Many countries like Singapore and China now have more women than men in their populations.

According to a report by the US National Bureau of Economic Research, the female share of university students has expanded in all 17 member-nations of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development in recent decades, and women outnumber men in college in almost all rich nations. Unlike in the 1970s, the women in many countries, Singapore included, are now very well educated and many of them hold even better paying positions than their male counterparts. So it seems that marriage benefits men more than women, at least in the health and wealth departments.

With the higher standards of living today, the additional income from your spouse makes an important difference to the quality of life you aim for. The wife’s income also made an important contribution during the recessions, when many men in high paying positions found themselves out of jobs. With the foreign domestic helper now gone, and the wife at work, hubby found himself at home looking after the kids and doing the housework.

With more financial independence than during their mothers’ and grandmothers’ days, it is now not unusual that more women delay getting married or prefer to remain single. Having children does not feature as highly as it used to as many of these women reportedly are more and more comfortable with adoption or the childless lifestyle. A recent Korean newspaper report stated that more Korean women were putting off marriage as many of the men they dated were unwilling to do housework or put in their fair share of household duties.

The gender reversals in marriage now can put the issue of Christian submission in marriage to the test. If the wife earns more, or is the sole breadwinner, how does this affect her role with respect to her husband if she thinks her financial independence enables her to question or disagree with her husband?

A closer examination of the Scripture gives the clear perspective. The apostle Paul told believers to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph 5:21) and told wives to “submit to your husbands as to the Lord” (Eph 5:22) in respect to their positions as “the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…” (Eph 5:23). He also highlighted how men and women should not be independent of each other “in the Lord” (1 Cor 11:11), and that they were “no longer two, but one” once married (Mt 19: 6), thus making any idea of unilateral decision making an inappropriate one.

So submission here should not be construed as blind obedience to every whim and fancy of the husband, but instead a healthy acceptance and discussion of the other party’s views and opinions before making an informed decision.

The wife can also be reassured that the Apostle had advice for the husband too, for he tells them that they, in turn, ought to “love their wives as their own bodies…” (Eph 5:28). The apostle Peter also told husbands to “be considerate” with their wives and “treat them with respect” because they were heirs of the “gracious gift of life” and so that their prayers would not be hindered (1 Pet 3:7).

If marriage was just for the guys, why are the numerous lists of women signing up to meet marriageable men not gone yet from our computers and newspapers? God’s Word tells us how marriage began when He saw that Adam needed a suitable “helper,” which led to Eve (Gen 2:20-24), and how it is His will for all men and women (1 Cor 7:2-4). God can also work through marriage to bring His unsaved children back to Himself (1 Cor 7:12-16).

While today’s man gets an economic and health boost by tying the knot, the wedding ring gives that fortunate woman companionship, love, and a best friend. “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD” (Prov 18:22).

References
1. Fry, Richard and D’Vera Cohn. “New Economics of Marriage: The Rise of Wives.” PewResearchCenter Publications. January 19, 2010. http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1466/economics-marriage-rise-of-wives (accessed May 8, 2010).
2. Ibid.
3. Ibid.
4. Roberts, Sam. “More Men Marrying Wealthier Women.” The New York Times. January 18, 2010. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/19/us/19marriage.html (accessed May 8, 2010).
5. Ibid.

Arulnathan John works for Singapore Press Holdings, and worships at Acts Centre, a daughter congregation under St Andrew’s Cathedral. He loves to read, go to the movies and the theatre, chat on the Internet, and keep his mind open to new experiences.

The New International Version of the Bible has been referenced.

During a typical week I personally learn through my work of three or four men who risk or throw away a lifetime of investment in a wife, family, and reputation for a few moments of sexual fantasy.

When we read about someone like Tiger Woods cheating on his wife, it may or may not shock us. However, we have all been stunned by learning that our minister or a close friend has committed sexual sin. When you hear such “close to home” news of sexual misconduct, does it make you fearful that it could happen to you? Here are three things you need to know:

1. Your Sins Will Find You Out

I have devoted my life to mastering one book so that I can show men how it applies to their lives. I love teaching the Word of God. Let me use my knowledge of that book to frighten you a bit. A little “holy” fear can be a good thing. If I have learned anything at all from the Bible, it is this: Your sins will find you out.

You would not dream of committing sexual sin if you thought you would get caught. You will. Listen to what Scripture says:
“…you may be sure that your sin will find you out” (Num 32:23).

“For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil” (Ecc 12:14).

“There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known” (Lk 12:2).

Our sins will find us out sooner rather than later. Why? Because God will not be mocked. If you don’t believe it, ask Tiger Woods.

Let me ask you a question. Do you think God’s reputation is at stake when a Christian commits sexual sin? It’s not. Actually, God’s reputation would be at stake if He didn’t punish such sin.

What do you do if you have a suit of clothes that gets stained? You send it to the cleaners. It would embarrass you not to get it cleaned. That’s exactly what God does.

You and I are the suit of clothes God wears. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19). The same God who created one hundred billion galaxies that stretch millions of light years deep into space is making us into His dwelling place. He is always with us and will never forsake us (Heb 13:5, Mt 28:20). The point is: Not only will people come to know our sins, God already knows.

2. Is It Easy or Difficult To Fall Into Sexual Temptation?

It is very easy for a Christian to fall into sexual temptation. Through creation the eye has been made to appreciate beauty. Through the fall the flesh has been made to lust after that beauty.

Any man who says that he doesn’t struggle with sexual temptation is lying. Augustine put it this way: “After the fall lust rules.” (He would know. He had an illegitimate son by the first of his two mistresses).

We live in a sex saturated society. Every day we are bombarded by the availability of sexually explicit materials: whether it is the TV, movies, magazines, books, or the Internet. In today’s newspapers, women’s underwear ads are equivalent to “girlie” magazines of 25 years ago!

Clothing suggests a sensuality that was taboo not that long ago. The social penalties for sexual sin have all but disappeared: whether lust, premarital sex, cohabitation, or homosexuality.

3. Is It Easy or Difficult To Fall Into Sexual Sin?

How likely is it that a man walking closely with Christ might stroll down a sidewalk, have a woman seduce him, and succumb? Not very.

It’s not that easy for a Christian to fall into sexual sin. You have to flirt with sexual sin for a long time before you will fall. You’ve got to plot and plan it out. You’ve got to spend a lot of time figuring out how not to get caught. All of this takes an enormous amount of forethought and premeditation. This thought should provide a great deal of comfort to men who truly love Christ.

If you abide in Christ, it’s just not that easy to stumble into sexual sin. However, if you live on the edge in a secret thought life you are vulnerable. What kind of company do you keep? What kind of thoughts do you meditate upon? Do you have habits that bring you into contact with sexually tempting materials? How vulnerable have you made yourself?

Three Practical Ideas

1. Trample Your Temptations

Do you know the difference between men and women when it comes to temptation? Women flee temptation! Men slowly crawl away hoping temptation will overtake them.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality.” If you don’t want to sin, don’t permit habits that bring you into temptation, like watching sexy TV, casual flirting, or spending time “online” with no accountability. Don’t put yourself in compromising situations. Don’t hire a secretary to whom you feel a physical attraction. Don’t stare out the window at your neighbor’s wife doing yard work.

2. Honor Your Wife

Here’s a story borrowed from our book, What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men (Zondervan):
Mike loves God with all his heart. Yet, he made a regular practice of checking out beautiful women. One day he realized what he was doing was sinful against his wife. He made a commitment to stop looking and lusting. “One day not much later,” Mike said, “I was sitting in a restaurant just finishing my meal. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a very sensual woman walk into the restaurant. I was determined that I was not going to look at her and lust.”

“I didn’t know what to do, so I prayed and asked God for help. As it happened, there were about three peas left on my plate. I decided to focus on those peas and began to stare real hard.”

“I felt like my head was caught in a giant tug-of-war. One force pulled my jaw upward to look at this woman. The other force yanked my eyes back toward those three peas. It was a bare-knuckles brawl between old habit and new commitment. My face was half twisted toward her, but my eyes bulged out to stay glued on those peas.”

“Finally, the battle began to subside. A few moments later it was over. I had won. God gave a spiritual victory. I still am tempted to lust, but God has given me the power to have victory every time I ask His help.”

One day a few months later, Mike took his wife to lunch. As they waited for the check she said, “Mike, I’ve noticed you don’t look at women anymore. I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate that. Thank you very much.”

3. Cling To Christ

Emerge Ministries works with pastors who have fallen into sexual sin. Founder Richard Dobbins states that every single one of these pastors have one thing in common. In the days, weeks, and months leading up to their moral failure, not one of these men had maintained a consistent time of daily devotions. In other words, their public ministry continued even though their personal walk with Christ had ground to a halt.

The ultimate protection from sexual sin is to live out of the overflow of a vibrant, personal relationship with Jesus. You are only vulnerable when you fail to abide in Christ.

A business leader, speaker, and author of the bestseller The Man in the Mirror, Patrick Morley helps men to think more deeply about their lives, to be reconciled with Christ, and to be equipped for a larger impact on the world.

The New International Version of the Bible has been referenced.

This article is taken from A Look in the Mirror™ on www.maninthemirror.org. Edited and printed with permission.

This is not the first time someone has laughed so uproariously! It happens all the time and in every ethnic group and country on earth. Every culture and people group has its own brand of humor. What I am trying to say is that humankind seems to be endowed with a “funny bone” – “a mental quality which apprehends and delights in the ludicrous and mirthful.”¹ If this is so then what does it tell us about the Great Endower, our Creator God? In creating man He said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness…” (Gen 1:26). Now I must be careful here! I am not saying that because God created man in His image and seems to have given him, generally, the mental quality to apprehend and delight in the ludicrous and mirthful that God is a humorist, i.e., “one whose conduct and conversation are regulated by humor or caprice.”² The conduct and conversation of our Creator God – the God of the Bible – is holy, loving, joyful, good, merciful, just, and sovereign. So, what I am saying, then, is that in the broad context of who God is and what He is like, we can see His sense of humor.

As well as in humankind, we see something of His humor in the animal kingdom: the monkey and his monkey business, the giraffe with his craning neck, the elephant with his inquisitive trunk, and the Carnival of the Animals as they troop into the ark! And in the plant world, as well, to see a tender, green sapling splitting rock as it reaches for light, is to discern something of the humor of the living God.

But the created order – man, animal, plant – do not tell us the whole story about who God is and what He is like. His ancient, living book, the Bible, does. For example in Psalm 2:4, God is described as the One enthroned in heaven who laughs at the nations and the people with their kings and rulers who conspire and plot to overthrow His Son. Like the tender, green sapling which pitted its strength against the resisting rock and won, so another “tender shoot” (Isa 53:2) grew up like a root out of dry ground pitting His resurrection strength against the resisting rock of the powers of hell and won. For the rock to resist the power of nascent life was ludicrous and God laughed! God has a sense of humor. He sees the funny side, if you will, of men strutting their stuff and defiantly shaking their fist in His face.

There are those who cite Old Testament references like Psalm 2:4 to re-enforce their perception of God as a harsh, brooding killjoy of a judge sitting up there with a stick seeking whom He may bash and laughing all the time. But those references all describe His attitude towards those who oppose Him and His people. We need to get the whole picture of what God is like and read all 150 Psalms, for example, to learn that this God who laughs mockingly at His enemies’ puny efforts to overthrow Him, is as I have said, the God of goodness, mercy, patience, love, and justice.

Not all who fail to appreciate God’s remarkable, telling sense of humor perceive Him as an invisible, capricious, stick-wielding potentate. There are many who believe in Him as a merciful, sovereign Judge, holy and just who stores up His wrath for that final day when He will return to judge us all. I, for one, believe that! But I also firmly believe that that same God is my Savior, my Friend, my Master.

However, when you are not sure He is your Savior and Friend, you tend to put notices in the rooms of your heart-house which remind you that Someone is watching. Well, God is watching. But if you know Him as Friend, your response will be a mixture of deep obedience, honor, respect, and love, all springing from that deep awareness of being loved. It follows then that if you are not sure of such a loving Savior, your response will be one of fear and your whole attitude and life-style characterized by lots of anxious, fruitless do’s and don’ts and you will not likely appreciate the fact that God has a wonderful sense of humor and has given us the gift of laughter!

Those five men who laughed with such abandon and delight at Jesus’ words to the woman’s accusers could in a sense represent those who were “outside” the religious establishment of Jesus’ day. The New Testament called them publicans (tax collectors) and sinners. Society ostracized them because they failed to keep the Laws of Moses, as interpreted by the religious leaders. Jesus often ate and drank with them (Mt 9:11). In fact his enemies described him derisively as “a friend of tax collectors and ‘sinners’ ” (Mt 11:19). I like to think that Jesus was in the same way a friend of those five who visited us that Sunday night. They had no clue who Jesus was but they certainly had a sense of humor and they just loved the way He tore into the hypocrisy and self-righteousness of the rule-keepers. They saw the funny side of what the Savior was saying – the cool irony of His command to the woman’s judges on the one hand; but on the other His wonderful words of forgiveness which swept away the condemnation and challenged her to go and sin no more.

Our five would doubtlessly have been delighted to join the tax collectors, Matthew, and Zacchaeus, for a meal with Jesus. What does this tell us about Jesus of Nazareth, God’s only Son, the God-Man? Well, perhaps the most important thing it tells us here is that He loved sinners and wanted to save them. But it also tells us that He was good company – the tax collectors and sinners seemed to delight having Him around. He obviously did not put them down, but accepted them for who they were. His presence was comfortable, affirming, genuine and transparent, challenging and refreshing or they would not have had anything to do with Him. He was the Light of the World and Love Incarnate. I do not want to push this too far, but to be good company, you need to have a sense of humor. And Jesus, God in the flesh, did. I would like to suggest that He had a delightful sense of humor. Sometimes it was terrifying, yes, but so often it was warm and relevant. It would have been wonderful to recline there at Matthew’s table with Jesus and hear the laughter and to see the Son of God reaching out in love to draw men from their darkness into His glorious light. The next best thing to being there is to ponder some of the things He said which reflects His sense of humor. For example, commenting on hypocrisy, He warns against trying to take a speck of sawdust from your brother’s eye when you have a plank (or telephone pole, as one version puts it!) in your own (Mt 7:3). Again, He compares the impossibility of a rich man has getting into the kingdom of heaven with the impossibility of a camel trying to get through the eye of a needle (Mt 19:24). And then another – in teaching about being ready for His second coming, He tells about the ten virgins: five were ready with extra oil and their lamps trimmed and got into the banquet; the other five were not and did not get in and were left shouting outside (Mt 25:1).

So, if God has a sense of humor, and I am saying He does, how does a believer respond? By cultivating a sense of humor? Like remembering lots of jokes and getting the punchline, right? Not exactly! But we are commanded to add goodness to faith, and knowledge to goodness, and self-control to knowledge and perseverance to self-control, godliness to perseverance and brotherly kindness to godliness and love to brotherly kindness (2 Pet 1:5). While we are doing that there must surely be scope for developing this mental capacity to see how ludicrous it is to doubt our loving God and learn with Him to laugh at ourselves, our doubts and worries and our sleep-stealing situations. If we are secure in Him and His Calvary love, we are more likely to be able to see His point of view, ourselves for what we are, and laugh. But get others to laugh as well, which is what Jesus did. He used humor in His teaching. I am sure we all had the wonderful experience of having a preacher, a teacher of the Word, tell a very funny anecdote about himself or someone else to make a point. As the laughter fades, quite often the Holy Spirit uses that opportunity to break down barriers, warm cold hearts, and send the spoken truth home to weary souls.

There is nothing like wholesome God-given humor to refresh jaded minds and relax tired bodies. Or to quote that idea exactly as it is written in the NIV: “A cheerful heart is good medicine…” (Prov 17:22). But cheerful hearts draw their cheer, their joy, and peace – and so their humor from the God of all hope (Rom 15:13).

References:
1. Kirkpatrick, E.M., editor. Chambers 20th Century Dictionary. Edinburgh: Chambers, 1983.
2. Ibid.

Barton Buell, a retired OMF missionary and Church of Scotland (Presbyterian) minister, lives in Inverness, Scotland where he does pulpit supply and is involved with his home church. Barton was in Singapore in the 1970s and is a great friend and mentor to many in Eagles Communications.

The New International Version of the Bible has been referenced.