The last time I checked, Jesus was really popular when He was on earth. There were always huge crowds of people wherever He went. And the people who loved Him, were mostly of the world. The people who hated him, were mostly the holy people.

The last time I checked, Jesus’ message of the Kingdom of Heaven and salvation was extremely popular and powerful. Cities after cities were transformed by His message and miracles. The people who detested it, were mostly the holy people.

The holy people then, criticized Jesus for being worldly. So how do we define worldliness and holiness?

Whether we like it or not, we are born into this world. However, we do have a choice to be attached to it or to be attached to our Father in heaven through Jesus Christ. We have a choice to worship the things of this world or the God of heaven and earth. To let the world define who we are or let our Maker do it. In my humble opinion, that is the difference between worldliness and holiness.

I am not an ordained pastor, nor am I in full-time ministry. By the grace of God, I had the joy of experiencing the company and relationships with a wide variety of people for the past decade. From the poorest of poor to the elites and influential personalities, both in Singapore and abroad.

I think there are four main reasons why many Christians struggle in reaching out to people in our schools, marketplace, and even families and friends:

1. Identity Crisis – Not knowing fully who we are in Christ

The world suffers from an identity crisis. Most of us like to identify ourselves with the best, the most popular, and the most successful, whoever and whatever that might be. Unaware of the extent of who we are created to be and how much we are valued and loved, most Christians succumb to the pressure and temptations of the world.

I am not saying that I completely comprehend the sonship that I have in God through Christ Jesus – it takes a lifetime journey refined through tests and trials. Last year, however, I experienced a revelation of the Father’s love for me. And that completely changed my life! I no longer seek assurance from my parents, pastors, friends, and wife about who I am. I no longer allow expectations of people to affect my life, my convictions, and my walk with God. All I desire is to know the infinite knowledge of who my heavenly Father is through Christ Jesus, by the Holy Spirit and enjoy the wonderful love and affection that He showers upon me each day of my life.

So what impact did it have on my interaction and witnessing to non-believing family and friends? Tremendous! I began to share my convictions and passion for my God and Savior freely to anyone who asked, wherever and whenever. I could pray for anyone who needed a touch from God, with little hesitation, discomfort, and worry. In short, I could be very open about my relationship with my God and am able to be honest about my struggles and weaknesses without feeling ashamed, guilty or condemned.

The result? Beautiful! Many backslidden and hidden Christians became very open to me about their struggles and weaknesses. And there were many non-Christians who openly enquired about Jesus, and I have managed to build great friendships with them without feeling awkward about my open and noticeable relationship with God.

2. A Lack of Evidence – Not knowing fully who Christ is in us

The Gospel is powerful. The power of the Gospel is not just a feeling, it is tangible, and it changes everything in life. And I think the reason why we rarely see the evidence of its power at work through us, is because we might not have enough knowledge of it. We might not have spent enough time soaking in His presence through His Word, worship, and prayer. It is also my prayer to be able to fully comprehend the essence and magnitude of being more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus in every area of my life.

Jesus confirmed His identity as the Son of God through signs, wonders, and miracles. He also confirmed His identity with authority when He spoke at synagogues and other public places. He was showing the people evidence that He was the light of the world, and what He said was the truth.

Do we carry the same authority and power whenever we share Christ with other people? From observations, I noticed that many Christians are trying to prove a point than allowing the point to prove itself. In the end, we get frustrated, tired, disappointed, and sometimes disillusioned. We are powerless, but His Name is powerful, His Word is powerful and the Holy Spirit is power Himself. And through Christ, nothing is impossible to accomplish.

3. A Lack of Discernment – Difficulty in hearing God and identifying Him in our lives

One of my spiritual mentors always tells me that evangelism should not be complex or frustrating. The reason why it is in many cases is because many Christians cannot discern what to do and when to do it. I believe that God is constantly at work in everyone’s life. He doesn’t just have a plan to redeem us, He also has a plan to transform, refine, and prosper us in His own time and way.

His thoughts are not similar to ours and His ways are far beyond our imagination. He is waiting for someone who hears Him and identifies with Him. He moves in the most random of timings and in the most unlikely of circumstances and it is up to us to pick up His signs and act according to His promptings.

I believe God speaks and communicates to people in unique ways. Do we recognize His voice and His promptings enough to generate an immediate obedience to action? I believe that if we do, we will experience an outbreak of supernatural revivals and witness countless lives saved.

4. A Lack of Empathy – It is not just about winning souls for Christ, it is also about loving people and discipling them with His love.

I liked what my pastor shared with me last year. He said that evangelism is not about proving a point but making a difference in another person’s life.

Many non-Christian friends have complained to me that Christians today are quite intimidating whenever discussions about religions, beliefs, and God arise. We seem to be quite defensive whenever someone questions our Faith. I, for one, have experienced such encounters. We seem to have some bottom line to meet when it comes to evangelism.

Our Gospel is about the extravagant love of God to undeserving yet beloved humans. I do not see much love expressed through intense debates and quarrels. Jesus uses two examples to describe evangelism – fishing and farming. There is one thing in common between the two, and that is patience. And the first word that the Apostle Paul uses to describe love is “patient.”

Jesus did not once compromise His purity and righteousness when He hung out with people of the world. And yet most of them were transformed by Him. Similarly, we do not need to adopt the behaviors and methods of the world to reach them. We just need to be authentic and attractive by knowing who we are in Christ and by living out His goodness and genuine love in the way we live.

Xavier is an independent Communications & Brand Consultant and is also currently incubating a few businesses. He graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic’s Film & Media Studies in Singapore and had worked in the field of Communications, Branding, and Design for seven years. Xavier is married and hopes to produce and direct films and sappy love dramas!

The benefits of mediation are far reaching. Not only has mediation proved to be a highly successful method of resolving disputes (most of the mediation centers in Singapore enjoy a very high settlement rate), mediation has also served to impart an effective life skill to the beneficiaries. People involved in mediation are exposed to a different perspective on the understanding of and approach to conflict. They witness that conflict can be turned around and become something positive in the way relationships can be restored and underlying needs met. They also see that mediation can be a successful alternative to litigation. Mediation helps to keep disputes from escalating over time into more serious conflict and saves the disputants time and money, not to mention the stress that goes hand in hand with any drawn out court process.

The following moving accounts of the power of mediation serve to illustrate the benefits of mediation. (Pseudonyms have been used to protect the parties involved in the following case studies).

An Undying Bond

The power of mediation is immense and transformational. Not only does mediation resolve the immediate issue at hand, it unravels deep-seated emotions that go right to the heart of the underlying conflict gnawing at the relationship between the disputants. One of EMCC’s principal mediators shares a moving account of her experience in mediating a conflict situation between a mother and her daughter:

Mdm Lee requested financial support from her daughter, Lynn, whom she is not in close contact with. The moment the mediation session began, Mdm Lee ran down her son-in-law. The ranting went on for a while but Lynn kept mostly silent. It appeared that Mdm Lee felt that Lynn, also a mother, had made a bad marriage. Mdm Lee herself was the victim of an abusive marriage. Deep in her heart, Mdm Lee did not want Lynn to go through the same marital hardships. Her incessant nagging and constant putting down of her son-in-law was Mdm Lee’s way of expressing her concern for Lynn.

In Lynn’s private session, she let down her stoic facade that she had put on in her mother’s presence and cried. Lynn shared that her marriage was on the mend and that her children were doing very well at school. She was more than willing to contribute to her mother’s monthly maintenance but was constrained by her own financial circumstances. Lynn still cared very much for her mother. However, she was unable to articulate her affections as they had drifted apart and Lynn was at a loss as to how to mend the rift. After some deliberation, Lynn came up with a monthly maintenance sum that was within her means. When the figure was eventually shared with her mother, Mdm Lee readily accepted the amount even though it was a small sum.

The outcome showed that the crux of the issue was not about money. It was about a mother and daughter who clearly loved each other and yearned to have each other back in their lives again. Upon our mediator’s encouragement, Lynn told Mdm Lee about her improved marriage and outstanding kids. Mdm Lee was visibly comforted as she listened to Lynn. The successful mediation was the bridge and spark that helped reconnect both Lynn and her mother. It may only be a start but we believe it is a strong boost that will bring about a lasting reconciliation between two broken individuals who share an intrinsic bond with each other.

The Power of a Simple Apology

Sometimes, it is not just a family conflict that can bring about a transformational emotional outcome. Recently, I mediated a commercial dispute which was scheduled for court hearing. On the surface, the dispute seemed pretty clear cut: breach of contract – cut and dried. Yet, surprisingly, the party, Mr Ng, who had breached the contract, was the one suing the company, represented by Mr Sim.

In the mediation session, what surfaced was that, although Mr Ng submitted that he had indeed breached the terms of the contract, he defended his position by stating he was put under immense pressure to agree to the terms of the contract. Only when he had a chance to think it through, did he feel that he had actually made a mistake and did not want to be bound to this contract. His request to be released from the contract altogether was instead met by an offer of compromise from Mr Sim to vary the terms of the agreement to make it more acceptable. Mr Ng agreed to this variation and signed a new agreement. He went away, and on reflection, once again came to the conclusion that he had made another mistake – he was not happy with the variation. After being told by Mr Sim that he was bound by the new terms, a disgruntled Mr Ng took the litigation route.

Prior to the date of the court hearing, the matter was referred for mediation and both parties agreed to mediate. However, when I canvassed the possibility of a settlement with the parties, Mr Sim was adamant that his mandate was actually not to settle but to allow this matter to proceed to hearing. Mr Ng was visibly upset and, in the private session, revealed his frustration on various levels. He was angry at the fact that he felt duped into the contract, while at the same time, angry at himself for having succumbed to a contract that he actually did not agree with. However, he stated that he was told that he did not have a very good case after he had sought legal advice from a lawyer. Still, he decided to go the legal route because he wanted to make a strong statement even if he lost the case in court. He wanted this to at least serve as a warning to others who might one day be faced with a convincing salesperson and not be strong enough to say no to persuasion. He also wanted this case to publicize the company as being party to litigation.

After having private sessions with both parties, and confirming the decision they both wished to disclose, I summarized in the joint session that the parties’ decision was that this matter would not be settled in mediation and that it would proceed to court. I then told the parties that before I closed the session, I would like to give each of them an opportunity to make a closing statement to one another. I then kept silent. After a few seconds, Mr Sim turned to Mr Ng, paused and then said, “Mr Ng, even though we were not able to settle this dispute, I can see how this matter has been a source of distress to you and I want you to know how sorry I am for what you have been through in the last few months. I hope you will be able to find peace and somehow put this matter to rest.”

The relief on Mr Ng’s face after this heartfelt apology was evident. After a long pause, Mr Ng, visibly moved with tears brimming, thanked Mr Sim for acknowledging his stress and proceeded to tell Mr Ng that he felt he could now withdraw the matter from being heard in court. This was communicated to the Registrar by Mr Ng in person. The parties shook hands, smiled, and walked away with peaceful minds.

The outcome of this mediation demonstrated that, although the dispute itself was unresolved, Mr Ng was able to resolve the underlying complaint that gnawed at his heart simply because of one heartfelt apology. This is the power of mediation, that even when a situation is irresolvable, the possibility of finding peace is still within reach.

These two stories are a tip of the iceberg and are the types of outcome that keep us, as mediators, motivated to do more and to keep believing in the power of peacemaking through mediation.
Angela Mitakidis is of Greek descent, born and raised in South Africa. She is a mediator and lawyer, and currently Manager of Mediation Services at EMCC. Angela has a passion for peacemaking and mediates commercial and family disputes at EMCC, the Singapore Subordinate Courts, and the Singapore Mediation Centre. She is also committed to educating communities in Singapore about the power of mediation. Angela serves on the core committee of the Women’s Ministry at the Church of Singapore (Bukit Timah), where she worships.

About EMCC

Growing out of Eagles Communications, EMCC (Eagles Mediation and Counseling Centre) was formed in 1997 with the vision of bringing hope to relationships through its services. One of the region’s foremost organizations that pioneered family mediation and training, EMCC is now a full member of the National Council of Social Service (NCSS) and an approved Institute of Public Character (IPC). With a professional staff of qualified counselors and mediation experts, EMCC enables people to effectively manage personal, marital, family, and organizational challenges and conflicts through its integrative and holistic approach of PeaceP.A.C.T (Professional Services, Accredited Programmes, Charity & Fundraising, and Training & Consultancy).

Media Contact:
May Lum DID: 6631 9408 Email: MayLum@emcc.org.sg
Angela Mitakidis DID: 6631 9415 Email: angela@emcc.org.sg

Most, if not all of us, enjoy the feeling of pleasure and it might be fair to say that life would be quite tough without it. During the week while we are at school or work, we try our best to create pockets of time for pleasure. During weekends, we engage and immerse ourselves in activities and events that we enjoy. Life would undoubtedly be quite a drag without pleasure!

Having said that, can this pursuit of pleasure ever become a harmful thing? Apparently so. People with an addiction to pleasure place an extravagant amount of emphasis on their pursuit of it. There is a constant hunger for stimulation and exhilaration as well as aversion for anything that they may regard as dreary and unexciting. They are chiefly concerned only with what they want at that point in time and are very unlikely to reflect on the consequences. People with hedonistic thinking despise being weighed down and tend to find ways to escape discomfort.

Where do we draw the line between addiction and someone who has a passionate indulgence for pleasure? All addictions, including addiction to pleasure, share three common features. Firstly, the person acts compulsively, is unable to resist impulsive behaviors, and has intrusive thoughts that prompt her to continue those stimulating behaviors. Secondly, there is a loss of control in her ability to curb or shut off his or her urges. Thirdly, there is a continuation of stimulating behaviors and the person is not deterred by increasingly adverse consequences.

Pleasure comes in different forms. For instance, exercising may be a form of physical addiction. Exercising helps to relieve stress and anxiety and has been said to bring about the “runner’s high,” which is a feeling of well being from the production of endorphins, a natural painkiller. People addicted to exercise and the high that follows find that if they stop, they become anxious and unhappy with themselves, their bodies, and life. To some addicts, exercising is what they look forward to as the highlight of the day and it gives them their identity and meaning in life. Not being able to exercise means living with a void. Often, addicts exercise to the point of injuring their bones, tendons, and muscles. Injuries and their preoccupation with exercise hamper the way they deal with relationships and situations at work, school, and home.

Another way for addicts to gain pleasure is through turning to pleasurable emotions. They obtain this by “falling in love” repeatedly as well as through sexual exploits. The euphoria that accompanies love and sex functions as a drug that addicts use to relieve pain or deal with personal issues like low self esteem and loneliness. Addicts would often resort to investing in a cycle of falling in and out of relationships for the excitement to cloud out the negative and uncomfortable feelings.

Another way for people addicted to pleasure to attain their highs is through artificial methods such as drug abuse. Drugs may be used to stimulate a “rush” or lull the person into a pleasurable stupor and achieve an altered perception of what is around them. Drugs bring about these changes by modifying how the brain normally functions and this process is gradual.

However, what starts out as a pursuit of pleasure spirals into an addiction in order to relieve withdrawal symptoms, rather than revisiting pleasurable feelings. As the change in the brain occurs, the person cannot function normally without drugs. Such is the danger of using external substances to bring about an induced state.

From a counseling perspective, the pursuit of pleasure hardly ever occurs in isolation. There is usually a context for it to happen and the chase is often about filling up the emptiness inside, thus turning to a maladaptive way of addressing dissatisfaction about certain facets of life. The addiction to pleasure traps and denies any chance for a person to truly discover and overcome what is not satisfying them in life. Yet, the appeal of pleasure is that it provides people a quick fix to a “happier place.”

To help people with this addiction, they need to be up for the challenge to change. No amount of cajoling or threats will transform them if they see no need or have no desire to change. In the event that you do get a chance to confront the issue with a willing individual, there are some ways that you can help them gain more awareness of what is happening inside of them and how it has been affecting themselves and those around them.

From a strengths based perspective, we want to encourage the person to overcome the addiction by drawing on his own strengths and resources, and it is not for us to bend and force him into admitting his problem.

We can start by asking what brought him to this point of wanting a change? Explore the thoughts and feelings behind this intention. Go deeper to establish his goal to change by asking for his opinions about his own thoughts and feelings. This intensification of the inconsistency between what is currently happening and what his new goals are will help him gain a sense of internal motivation by allowing him to hear his own stand against his addiction.

We would then want to explore his own triumphs; what are his strengths and positive qualities that he has used over the course of his life to solve difficult situations? This allows him to gain confidence in knowing that he has resources of his own to deal with difficulties and can draw on them again in this difficult period. In overcoming addictions, it is crucial that the person establishes an understanding that he is a competent person capable of making personal choices in handling his addiction.

When it comes to handling hedonistic thoughts and behaviors, try exploring with him what are the situations (real, perceived, physical, emotional) that put him at risk of feeling that he needs to engage in certain acts and what exactly triggers the urges.

Explore what else, other than the current intense desire for pleasure, is going through his mind. What is it about obtaining pleasure that is so important right now? What is the purpose of this pleasure to him?

Encouraging self inquisition helps him gain an awareness of what this pleasure is distracting him from. Should there be deeper issues present, he can be encouraged to adopt alternative tactics to deal with them. Among the many issues, one thing that people addicted to pleasure cannot tolerate is discomfort. It is certainly not a state we would like to be in and undoubtedly, some experiences do seem unnecessary and pointless. Yet, bearing with discomfort teaches us lessons such as resilience, self confidence, patience, and endurance. Helping them to find values in their difficulties will help to increase their tolerance to monotony and cultivate the will to bear with discomfort.

We could also explore with him what are the thoughts and feelings experienced after having engaged in the hedonistic behavior and find out what those thoughts and feelings mean to him. Similarly, examine with him his observations of others around him who are impacted by his behavior. Getting him to reflect on these areas helps bring to light the impact of the aftermath of these actions on him and on others. This is a crucial part of overcoming addiction to pleasure. Specifically to people who struggle with hedonism, learning to develop respect for others, to show care and concern, and think beyond their own wants, is paramount in contributing to a healthy recovery.

Overcoming addiction is a gradual and challenging process. The step of having someone acknowledging that he has an addiction is already a tough confession. However, that is the first and most courageous move a person can make for himself.

If you know a loved one or someone who has such an addiction but is not ready to change, trying to force upon them what they should not be doing will only push them further away. What you can do instead is to allow them to find a friend in you: Someone whom they can trust, someone they know who will walk alongside them without judgment.

It can be emotionally trying, but being that key person of support in their lives may be all that is needed to turn their lives around.

Joline Lim is a counselor at EMCC with a degree in psychology and masters in counseling and guidance. She currently serves in the youth worship ministry in Church of Our Savior as a keyboardist and a very shy flutist. Her passions include enjoying nature and animals, photography, playing in a band, cooking, baking, and being a health freak to offset the last two passions.

References:
Smith, David E. and Richard B. Seymour. Introduction to Handbook of Addictive Disorders: A Practical Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment, edited by Robert H. Coombs. Hoboken: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2004.

“On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.”- New Yorker cartoon

“We don’t have a choice on whether we DO social media, the question is how well we DO it.” – Erik Qualman

Social media refers to the use of web based and mobile technologies to turn communication into an interactive dialog. It allows people to co-create and exchange user generated content.

According to Kietzmann, et al, it has introduced substantial and pervasive changes to communication between organizations, communities, and peoples of the world enabled by ubiquitous, accessible, and scalable communication techniques. ¹ Finally, social media is about people, connecting us to our old friends and the world almost instantaneously.

One of my friends told me that he found 26 of his primary one classmates on Facebook and they had their first get together after forty years!

I asked a group of young people and my kids why social media is so popular with them. These are some of their responses:

Need for self expression: We want to share our ideas, life experiences, and discoveries. And people listen to us. We feel we have a voice in this voiceless world.

Need for convenience: Every one of our friends has an iPhone, BlackBerry, or a computer with tremendous computing power. We can reach out so effortlessly.

Need for connectivity: We want to connect with our friends and even long distance acquaintances. We can communicate so easily now with social media!

Need for speed: We want to do things quickly and immediately. The slow pace of letters and traditional media like radio and TV are not attractive to us.

Need for self identity: With social media, we can establish our identity. It is our business calling card. We feel so powerful and important. And most of all, it is cool!

Social media has fundamentally changed the way we interact and communicate by:

Removing geographical distance and language.
Democratizing the world’s information.
Making education and success possible for billions of people.
Revolutionizing the way we do business.
Spreading truth and perspective to the world.
Combating tyranny and oppression as seen in Tunisia, Egypt, and even overthrowing dictators as in Libya.

Consider these UNTHINKABLE facts in Social Media:

There are over 2.7 billion searches performed on Google each month.²
The number of text messages sent and received each day exceeds the total population of planet earth.³
There are 1.9 billion Internet users worldwide.
90% of social media trust peer recommendations as opposed to advertisements.
In 2009, one out of eight married couples in the US met through social media.
Social gamers will buy $6 billion in virtual goods by 2013.

Consider these UNTHINKABLE Search Engines:

Facebook
There are 750 million users on Facebook as of June 2011. 175 million users are logging on every 24 hours on Facebook, sharing thirty billion pieces of content per month.⁴
In 2010, Facebook delivered one trillion display ads.
The average user in Facebook spends about 55 min a day on the site, has 130 friends, is connected to eighty pages, groups, and events and creates ninety pieces of content per month.⁵

YouTube
YouTube receives more than two billion views every day.
More videos are uploaded to YouTube in sixty days than the three major US networks created in sixty years.
It would take you 1,000 years to watch all the YouTube videos.⁶

Wikipedia
Wikipedia’s mission is to make all information in the world available in every language. Wikipedia supports 260 languages.
English Wikipedia has more than three million articles but not a single ad.⁷

Twitter
Started as a simple text-sms, it now has more than190 million users.
Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, and Britney Spears have more Twitter followers than the entire populations of Sweden, Israel, Chile, Greece, North Korea, and Australia combined.
25 billion tweets were sent out in 2010.⁸

LinkedIn
LinkedIn (Professional/Business social networking) has more than ninety million users worldwide. A new member joins LinkedIn every second.
80% of companies use LinkedIn as a recruitment tool.
Executives from all FORTUNE 500 companies are on LinkedIn.⁹

Truly, social media is the electronic tsunami of our times! It will continue unabated for years to come!

Distinctive Features of Social Media

1. Reaching the furthest and farthest: Social media allows an individual to have a global reach and a global audience at little or no cost.

2. Accessible to anyone anywhere: It allows any individual anywhere to have access to audiences any place on earth.

3. User friendly to the oldest and youngest: Little skill and training are needed to access and reach our audience. Even the youngest and oldest among us can learn how to use it, produce and load up pictures, videos, and messages through social media. The number of social media users age 65 years old and older has increased by 100% in 2010. It is almost idiot proof!

4. Instantaneous crossing of time zones: We can log on day and night, defying all time zones with immediate responses within seconds! Only the respondents determine their delay.

5. Impermanence and changing all the time: People can comment, edit, criticize, and tear down most information. This is both a plus and minus. Conversely, you can amend and comment on mistakes that you may have posted wrongly.

6. Influence through peers and friends: Almost anyone can become an “expert” or social authority. The most influential factor is “similarity.” In 2008, 58% of respondents report that they most trusted company or product information coming from “people like me.”

7. Anonymity, pretense, and camouflaging lies: Individuals can disguise themselves, their identities, and their messages and camouflage them as truths. It is difficult to ascertain truth from falsehoods in social media because it spreads so pervasively and so instantaneously, like a virus.

8. Emotional reactions and uncontrollable responses: The emotional impact of stories and experiences through social media has enraged individuals, mobilized crowds, challenged conventional wisdom, and destroyed regimes.

Thinking Through the Unthinkable of Social Media: How to use it?

1. Accept social media as our way of communicating and interacting. There is no turning back now. For the baby boomers, we remember the black and white TV of the 60s. Now, Flatbed LED 3D Color TV is in. So, it is with social media. Whether for business or pleasure, family or friends, organizations or individuals, interacting and networking through social media is the way to go, if you want to stay connected.

Use it to your advantage. You can find almost anything, answer any question, address any issue, find any product, learn any new skills, search for any pictures/videos in this new norm of communication and interaction. (This article is a prime example as much background research for this article is done through this medium!)

2. Acquire skills from the young and tech-savvy kids. If you are like me, the “dinosaur” in the use of social media, this is the best time to connect with the young and social media mogul kids. Learn from them and they will keep us humble. Only request is that they have to do it slowly and be less impatient with us as they tend to take for granted that we know what they know.

3. Adapt to the most prolific and advanced social media. Friendster and Myspace were the top social media sites a few years ago until Facebook and YouTube came along. Do not be surprised that these may be passé in a few years because the new kids on the block, like Google+, will revolutionize our communication. For now, stick to Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube! And stay relevant!

4. Analyze identity and content by being discerning. It is important to have a giant dose of healthy skepticism when accessing information and content from social media. Once I received an email from a very prominent and well respected leader in our country. I thought it was from him until I checked with him and found that somebody had used his name to pen the article, which was so well disguised as it resembled his writing style! The first rule: Do not instantaneously believe everything that is sent to you! Check out the facts. Establish the identity clearly. Go to the source, if possible.

It is good to know that major social media sites like Google and Facebook are now demanding full identities and cracking down on people using pseudonyms. Although they have their own reason for desiring disclosure, Facebook’s former marketing director, Randi Zuckerberg, has advocated, “Anonymity on the Internet has to go away.” Echoing the same sentiment, Eric Schmidt, Google’s Chairman, “The Internet would be better if we had an accurate notion that you were a real person as opposed to a dog, or a fake person or a spammer.” This, I believe, is a good development but whether they will succeed is another matter!

5. Address the issue by managing your emotions. It is very easy to become emotional on the Internet. This is compounded by the sound bites, the one liners, and quick fixes that social media advocates.

This is because social media almost allows people to get away with “murder.” Extremism, sensationalism, and exaggeration are stretched to its limits because somebody is seeking to capture our attention. It is important to stay rational and thoughtful or we fall right into the same trap that we are trying to prevent. Step back and check out the facts before reacting emotionally.
All these require a new savvy-ness in addressing the issues. Prompt responses, pithy one-liners, and repetitive messaging can counter these threats.

The UNTHINKABLE is here. The tsunami of social media is here and there will be many more social media tsunamis to come. We have to keep pace with these communication changes. Only then can we become effective communicators and purveyors of truth and rationality.

1. Kietzmann, Jan H., Hermkens, Kris, McCarthy, Ian P., and Silvestre, Bruno S. “Social media? Get serious! Understanding the functional building blocks of social media.” Business Horizons 54 (2011): 241–251.
2. Metzger, Monty C.M. “Power of Social Media.” Slideshare. May 2007. www.slideshare.net/montymetzger/power-of-social-media.
3. Ibid
4. Kincaid, Jason. “Facebook Now Has 750 Million Users.” TechCrunch. June 2011. http://techcrunch.com/2011/06/23/facebook-750-million-users/.
5. DominoMarketing. “Social Media in 2011.” YouTube. June 2011. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbxQelt3Lk8.
6. Ibid.
7. Ibid.
8. Ibid.
9. Ibid.
10. Gapper, John. “It is right to curtail Web anonymity.” The Straits Times, September 2, 2011.

Dr John Ng is the Chair of Eagles Communications’ Board of Governance and directs the programs of Eagles Leadership Institute. He is also the President of Meta, providing consultation services to top international corporations and the Honorary Chair of EMCC Board of Governance. John has a PhD in Interpersonal Communication from Northwestern University, USA.

This mini-blog allows “netizens” (users) to post information about themselves and make comments on any topic, much like Facebook in the West, which cannot be accessed in China. Interestingly, there is a tendency for Weibo comments to go beyond the purely personal and touch on more thoughtful, even socio-political topics – something new for China.

On Facebook, a typical comment may be something like “I took my children to the zoo today and they just loved the monkeys” (accompanied by photos of smiling kids). One may find an occasional political reference, but the expectation is that the vast majority of comments will be personal. After all, there are many other outlets for socio-political commentary in the general media throughout the West.

Weibo of course includes many personal comments as well, but there is a growing expectation that users will also address issues of the day in a thoughtful manner. In fact, some who do not are chided by other netizens for not being serious enough. For instance, there was a great deal of commentary on what appeared to be an attempt to cover up the cause of a high speed train wreck in July 2011 with postings such as: “Why did the railway authorities try to bury the train cars that were damaged in the train wreck – what are they trying to hide?” (accompanied by photos of the wreckage). And prominent users who did not engage the topic were encouraged to weigh in.

This is hugely significant, especially since the general media in China is not open to commentary as it is in the West, which means there is no other venue for such dialog. It is a new thing for Chinese citizens to be able to comment directly to one another on current events such as potential cover ups, and it is creating quite a buzz among those who access it. After all, others who have made it a habit to critique current issues have invariably been silenced sooner or later by China’s monitoring authorities.

Consequently, their social commentary has tended to be episodic at best. Weibo, however, continues to grow and expand even as more and more of its netizens revel in the newfound possibility of unfettered public social commentary.

So what has changed? How is it that former social critics have found themselves reprimanded while Weibo is allowed to flourish? I believe that the authorities in Beijing see social media as a useful pressure relief valve, in that it provides an easily monitored outlet for public opinion. The organizations that run these outlets report that they are constantly engaged in a delicate dance. They have had to develop tools to censor specific topics if needed, which can be implemented at a moment’s notice if the government so requests. But neither they nor the government want to use these tools unless absolutely necessary.

Accordingly, there is increasing tolerance for comments critical of current issues so long as they do not cross a line. What is the line? Nobody knows for sure, so what is happening is a tentative and ever expanding exploration of those limits by Weibo’s users. Clearly anything directly challenging government policies will not be tolerated, but so far many critiques of oversights and mishaps have been allowed.

The two most difficult topics, whether in the East or in the West, are supposed to be politics and religion – so what about the latter? What about discussion on matters of faith and spirituality? Here too, there is a growing openness to dialog, as long as it does not promote issues or organizations that are currently illegal. That leaves space for talking about, for instance, Christian or Buddhist beliefs and practices – both of which are well represented. Increasingly one sees faith oriented or religious comments on Weibo that would not have been tolerated in the past. This can include, for instance, references to specific Buddhist or biblical teachings, general statements about the importance of faith and church or temple, or allusions to Jesus or Buddha. China’s netizens may just find themselves becoming increasingly faith oriented!

In the long run, discourses on faith, spirituality, and values may be even more important that the developing socio-political commentary. It has been often noted that there is a sort of vacuum in China as regards commonly held religious or ideological beliefs. On Weibo, this vacuum is duly noted, and netizens weigh in with their various proposals on how to fill the vacuum. It is as if a growing and sophisticated community is deciding together who they are and what they believe in.

In sum, I believe there is a mini-revolution taking place in China through their social media that will have historic impact. Many Chinese seem elated to have such an opportunity and spend a great deal of time engaged in comments and responses regarding the issues of the day. Perhaps it feels like a breath of fresh air in the otherwise tightly controlled media environment of China. Netizens can promote thoughtful dialog on any topic by simply taking one another’s comments seriously. The ultimate outcome? Only time will tell as China goes on to define itself anew in the 21st Century. But whatever Sino identity emerges, social media is bound to play an important role.

Dr Timothy A Kelly is serving as Chief of Behavioral Health Services for ParkwayHealth Medical Centers in Shanghai. Prior to that, he was an Associate Professor of Psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary’s School of Psychology in Pasadena, California. Dr Kelly served as Commissioner for Virginia’s Department of Mental Health in the 1990s. He recently published a book titled Healing the Broken Mind: Transforming America’s Failed Mental Health System. For further information see: www.takconsult.com

Strictly speaking, social media has been around for many years. But the prominence of it has been brewing behind the scenes, waiting for the technological platform to mature before it springs a communication revolution.

Looking from the recent incidents, local and global, such as the Singapore General and Presidential Elections and the random mob looting and riots all over England, to the fall of strong rooted governments in Egypt and Libya, social media plays a crucial role of being a facilitator for stirring emotions and large scale mobilization.

Economically, businesses and organizations experience the value in social networks to engage and connect with thousands of old and new customers and to ultimately build a stronger brand identity for their business or cause.

So what exactly is social media and what has it got to do with the message of the Gospel?

Social What?

First of all, we need to learn what social media really is all about in order to see the relevance of it in our generation. I have come across many definitions of what it is and some people argue against the purpose of defining it since ALL media have a social element in it. However, I find the following the most relevant in explaining what it means:
Social media simply is user generated content that is exchanged through social interaction, powered by technology, and in the process co-creating value.

By that definition, the difference between social media and traditional media is really from the source of the information and content, and the level of social interaction involved. The content is generated laterally from ordinary citizens rather than the traditional top down method. The circulation is no longer restricted by subscription and users have a more immediate way to respond and feedback rather than just writing in to the newspaper forums, thereby subjecting their comments and opinions to censorship by a few gatekeepers.

Before we carry on, let us take a quick glance at a brief history of the development of social media so we can appreciate the formation of this social phenomenon.

Setting The Stage

1971 – First email sent (computers were next to each other). Marks the possibility of electronic communication!
1991 – Launch of THE Internet. The Internet existed since the late 1960s, as a network, but the World Wide Web became publicly available on August 6, 1991.
1994 – Geocities Founded. Users can conveniently own spaces in cyberspace and publish their information and thoughts. Signals the first form of social media.
1997 – The word “blog” is coined. Blogging is popularized from 1999 to mid 2000s. User generated content gains momentum.

Social Networking Begins

1997 – AOL Instant Messaging introduced. The first taste of “online chat” that forged a need to stay in touch instantaneously in future generations.
1997 – Sixdegrees.com launched. Sixdegrees.com is the first manifestation of the social networking format that today’s popular social networks are modeled upon.
2002 – Friendster launched. Friendster pioneered online connections to real world friends! Sets a model for future social networking sites.
2003 – Myspace launched. It became the first social networking site to hit 100 million members in 2006. Businesses take notice of social networks’ monetary potential.
2004 – Facebook launched. Dethroned Myspace to be the number one social network. Currently still number one, with an active membership of 750 million as of July 2011.
2006 – Twitter launched. The rise of a new social media niche for “microblogging.”
2011 – Google+ is launched in Beta stage. Originally, membership was “by invitation only” but even then, it proved to be fastest growing social network ever with 25 million users in two months when it had not yet been opened to the public.
2012 – Facebook expects to hit its 1st billionth member. If Facebook were a country, it would be the 3rd largest nation simply by sheer number of members.

Examples Of Social Media

To most of us, our social media vocabulary is probably limited to a few words like Facebook and Twitter. However, there is a whole new spectrum of social media platforms available. Here is a list of several types of social media and what it is for:

Social Networking: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+
An online community of people (not necessarily friends) where you can add friends, share contents, and send messages. They are usually grouped by common interest.

Social Bookmarking: Digg, Delicious, StumbleUpon
Social bookmarking essentially allows users to share their favorite web content with others while creating an online bookmark that users can refer to later on. Each bookmark can be counted as a vote and this will in turn dynamically show the most popular pages in that community.

Blogs: WordPress, Blogger, Tumblr, Typepad, etc.
Blogs are simply online journals where users can type in content of their interest. The users’ community can follow the latest blog entry. Blogs usually involve longer content as compared to micro blogging, where content is limited to a certain number of words per post.

Wikis: Wikipedia, WikiTravel, WikiHow
A wiki simply is a website where content is contributed collaboratively by its users. It has an open editing concept whereby anyone can add or edit the information.

Photo Sharing: Photobucket, Flickr
Photo sharing sites allows users to share photos with other users, privately or with a selected group of people.

Video Sharing: YouTube, GodTube, Vimeo, yesHeis.com
Video sharing sites allows users to upload user generated videos to share with the rest of the world. The videos can be shared on other social media platforms.

Geolocation: FourSquare, Facebook Places
Geolocation refers to the sharing of one’s current location with his or her social connections through GPS from a mobile device. For example, I can inform my social network when I “check in” to a new restaurant round the corner so my network can be updated on my whereabouts.

Meetings/Events: Meetup.com, Facebook Event
This type of social media allows you to create, plan, organize, and manage events and meetings and share it throughout your social network. In return, people can RSVP and even give comments to the created events so you can approximate the response rate.

Social Reviews: TripAdvisor, hotel.com
Social reviews refer to directories of products and services reviewed by people who have previously used the products or services. You can literally review anything nowadays. From restaurants and hotels, to spas and computers, research has shown that consumers trust user reviews 38 times more than standard advertisements!

Consider This…

Am I too old for social media?
Facebook’s latest findings published in June shows that one of the most active membership growth ages are those in their 50s to 60s! ?

Can I control the content on social media?
Social media is not like traditional media. Just like you cannot predict someone’s reaction when you introduce the Gospel message to them, in the same way, you cannot expect people to respond kindly when you share on social media. The outcome is not decided by the message but by the content generated by the conversations and comments.

Is social media free?
Time invested to maintain a social media presence is significant. We are talking about opportunity cost here. So make the time you spend on social media worthwhile.

What has social media got to do with the Gospel?
Jesus told stories in a manner in which people of that generation can relate to. In the same way, we must deliver the Gospel in a relevant manner in our generation.

Wouldn’t it be very cold and distant if my community communicated on social media?
Yes, if you use social media as the only means of communication. But think about it in this way – imagine your face to face communication with your community can be carried on even when your community is not together. Social media is not to replace traditional communication forms but to extend and enhance the interaction beyond the traditional mediums.

It is not so much about what social platform you are on but rather what the message is – just like you cannot say that someone is a fantastic driver just by judging the type of car he is driving. The social media platform is the vehicle to drive your message to your community. But what good is the message of salvation if we do not have an audience? When Jesus said, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…” it only made sense to go to where the people are. Where are the people then? In this generation, the web is where the people congregate and through social media is the way they communicate. Facebook has over 750 million users presently and it is a matter of time before it hits a billion. At any one time, around 50% of these members are actively engaged on Facebook in conversations! That is a lot of people talking to each other! Among all this chatter, how much of it is about our message of hope and salvation?

The good thing about globalization is that it really does make the world a smaller place. The message of the Gospel has never been so readily available and the reach has never been wider.

The Challenge Ahead

Moving forward, what is the real challenge to engage this generation with the greatest story of all? Technology laggards who previously dismissed the eventual impact of social media on society find themselves in a very awkward situation where they have to learn to catch up. Hence, many “socially unskilled” folks jump onto the social media bandwagon just so they do not miss the boat. The question is, “Now that I’m registered on Facebook/Twitter/YouTube/Google+ etc, what’s next?”

Always remember, social media is nothing but a platform. What matters is still the message and the quality of the conversations. It is not what you say but what they perceive.

Daniel is currently an aspiring entrepreneur who enjoys good company whether online or offline. He was the conference director of the Eagles Leadership Conference 2011 held in July and is now part of the EaglesVantagePoint team.